"Then why did God make me so small and weak?" "So He can show you how mighty He is!" (from the movie Facing the Giants)
This is my life, my story from looking out of project windows, to addiction, to being overweight, to sobriety and Ironman Cozumel '10. Somewhere in the midst of all that chaos, I found Christ.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Hitting a Bottom
This week has been full of ups and downs. One would think coming off a 5 minute PR (personal record) the week following should be great. Well, it was in some regard. I mean I pushed as much as I would during any other session. Yet, it is here I began to dig myself a hole. Not saying I am depressed, but I Googled “sports training leading to depression.” I will go on record saying I am absolutely not battling depression. Yet, this past week, was different. I found myself not being happy with my run time, or my training. Funny, not because the training isn’t top tier, rather I should be able to do more; faster times, pressing out fast wattages. I am a fairly healthy guy at 180 pounds. Yet, I am one of the slowest guys on the road. Meanwhile, my peers and fellow age groupers, some of whom, at first glance, I am in “better” shape in, pass me. It is often at those moments I hated that I smoked for 10 years and only stopped 5 years ago tomorrow (the day my son was born!).
I just can’t wrap my head around it! I began feeling like a pseudo triathlete. When someone uses the term triathlete loosely, I wonder if there is room for me to get in. Even still, when someone asks me if I am a triathlete, I tell them no but I am training from this upcoming fill in the blank triathlon. To me, the guys that are running 2 hr half marathons and less off the bike are triathletes. The guy that bikes in at under 3 hours and swims in 30-33mins or less. Those are the triathletes. So, what does that make me?
I had to post this to documents the lows in this training.