Sunday, February 28, 2010
Am I Missing Something?
However, I can’t seem to wonder what am I missing? Ignorance is bliss. I know. However, am I being stupid? Unrealistic? Zealous? I wonder sometimes if I am setting myself up for failure. I have read both horror stories and success stories about people who have participated in the half ironman swim as their first or second open water swim.
I also remember I didn’t decide to do a Half Ironman this year. If it were up to me, I would be doing the Miami Half Ironman in October as my key race. It was put in my heart to do an Ironman. When I saw there was an Ironman in Cozumel, Mexico, I felt like it was God putting it in my heart to do that Ironman. Mexico is where I did my first mission trip in July ’09. My church also has a mission in Cozumel and I am using this Ironman to raise money for that orphanage.
I guess what I am saying is…I don’t know what I am saying! I just don’t like getting those looks! I feel like people are just totally doubting, not just me, but anyone else that dreams of losing 60lbs and going from a smoker to a runner. I did enough doubting of myself every time I emptied a bottle of alcohol down my throat! I have doubted long enough! Maybe that is why it has been put in my path to do what seems impossible. I for one know what it feels like to be a slave to self-doubt. I would dang well rather have the confidence in myself to go out and try and not finish the race than be a blasted slave to self-doubt again!
Every decision I made regarding my decision to do this half ironman has been calculated. I know how I felt at the end of a 30 mile ride. I know how I feel at the end of my half marathons. I know how I feel after my swims. I chose New Orleans because it’s a wetsuit swim (wetsuits add improved buoyancy). The bike course is flat yet windy (perfect!) The run is flat! Even better since I average almost 30-45 sec faster per mile on flats. I didn’t just Willy-nilly wake up one day and decide I want to do a half Ironman. I asked my coach if it was possible and I have been training with him for four months. Before that, I PR’ed my half marathon time. (pr’ed means personal record). The time is now!
Look at me with that “look” if you want! I wont win, but crossing that line is a win to me! See you at the finish line because I am taking every look I have received from people with me! Thanks for the motivation “LOOKERS!”
"Success is never final and failure never fatal. It's courage that counts." - George F. Tilton
p.s. but this has been bugging me a bit. Its not that I don’t want to open water swim before the race. I just don’t think I will be able to because of the weather here.