Tuesday, December 8, 2009
New number on the scale, Why an Ironman, LBP Testing
Why did I get up at 530am this morning! I didn’t have to get up for another hour!
Yesterday morning I went o the YMCA for an early morning swim. In the men’s locker room there sits a scale. I don’t weigh myself very often these days. I walked over to the scale and I saw an old enemy. The scale had been left at exactly 232lbs!!! That was my max weight! Immediately, I am aware at how significant this moment had already become. There it was! The pain I felt at 232lbs, the embarrassment, the resentment I felt because of that number… it was all staring me in my face. What were the chances that the rare moment I weigh myself the scale would be set exactly at 232lbs? And then I knew it wasn’t about chances. It was about getting a reminder from God. When I have God in my life, nothing is left to chance!
I jump on the scale and I slide it down to 180lb; the scale doesn’t balance. WHAT! Did I gain more weight?! I look to the right and the scale is indicating I need to lower the weight on the scale. Lower the weight??? The main bar is at 150 while the top number was 30. I delicately tap the bar to the left. Then tap; 179lb no balance. Tap…178lb no balance. “What?! Did I break 180lb?!” I begin to wonder. At this point, I give a relatively hard tap all the way down to 175lbs!!!! BALANCE! “YEAH!” I couldn’t believe it! I am 175lbs! I jumped off the scale and looked at it again to be sure. I can tell you exactly the last time I weighed 175lbs! Eight years ago after leaving the police academy and I haven’t seen that number since. That brought total weight loss to 57lbs! I am so grateful for this journey.
When I started my second set of swim lessons to refine my stroke, a member of my group asked me why I wanted to put myself through so much for an Ironman. I began to fill up with emotion. Although, at that time, I didn’t have an answer I do now. It is partly for my belief in Christ, partly for City of Angels orphanage in Cozumel, Mx, and partly to heal some old wounds. It wasn’t until this morning I came to that realization.
As a child, my brother and I were called really mean names. Our clothing would…well fit us a bit snug and we were called “Huggies.” We have both since had children and both have refused to EVER buy the pampers brand HUGGIES! It’s amazing what an 8 year old can say to you that will hurt for the rest of your life lol! That is just one of many stories.
This Ironman is my way to quiet some painful demons. It is the pain of being overweight, the pain of addiction, and wanting to die but being too afraid to kill yourself. The pain of not feeling good enough. Not even feeling good enough to be loved! Since, I have become a Christian, I know now that I am good enough to be loved because for God so loved me…-John 3:16. It is for these reasons I want to hear the words “Hassan Peterson! You are an IRONMAN!” because at that moment, I will also hear you are worth being love. Live your life; walk with Christ. More importantly, there is absolutely NOTHING!!! in this world you cannot do when Christ is your biggest support! I think this explains why I become so emotional when I watch the Ironman. I am so excited for those people that cross the line. At the same time, I know what crossing the finish line will mean for me.
First Meeting with Lance
I meet Lance Leo for the threshold testing then off to work! UGH! I am really excited about the test; not so much about work! There is nothing like working on your days off! I’ll admit too, I’m a bit nervous about this test! It will tell me where I am as an endurance athlete! Lol I don’t think I want to know ha! One last thing! I am reading this new book called Chi Running! It’s a really good book. I’m at chapter 4 which is said to be the crux! We will see.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one that ever reads this blog! :)